Worse Date Ever!

Everyone has been on bad dates. I mean, I have been on a date where the guy had zero money. He took me to the lake for a moonlight walk on the first date. I was okay with that. Dating isn't about how much money a guys spends. It's on the quality of what a good time you have. If a woman is going out with a guy just so he spends money on her - well, that's an entirely different topic.

The worse date I have ever experienced has to be where we went to see a scary movie. I didn't really want to go on this date in the first place, but the guy asked me and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. He was kind of an underdog. After this date, I think I figured out why.

We get into the movies and things are relatively normal. However, I was a bit thankful the movie was going to start soon. He constantly was talking about himself and all the wondrous glory that was him. How lucky I was that I accepted to be on a date with him. How intelligent he was. Everything that he thought I should know about him so that I didn't miss any detail. By this point, I wanted to miss all the details. I was polite, though. My mommy always said that I should smile and be polite even in the face of adversity. Believe me, I was feeling mighty adverse at this point.

I was thankful when the movie started. Although that was a short lived thankful moment. The guy was actually screeching in fear at the movie. Not the little "oh!" startled moment. Nope. He was actually competeing with the characters on the film who were on the verge of being maimed, murdered, and/or eaten alive.

I sunk a bit in my seat, hoping there was no one in the theater that would recognize me. I moved over in my seat about as far as the seat rails would allow. They don't make those seats nearly wide enough, by the way. My biggest fear at this time was that the guy would wind up in my lap.

Why take a girl to a spooky movie if you can't handle your scare? It's a question that may never be answered to my satisfaction.

You would think at this point that it would be the end of the worse night ever as he drove me home. One would hope, but one would be wrong.

As we pulled into the driveway of my house, after listening to his "Ode to Self" on the way home and how he completely puts himself into the movies he watches. (This I noticed. Unfortunately he was a survivor and not a victim, in this case.) I had reached my politeness breaking point.

He looks at me and tells me, "I'm going to let you kiss me now." I was astounded. Let me kiss him? He's lucky I didn't smack him upside the head and cause him more brain damage.

I simply replied with all the nice Southern Hospitality I could muster, "Don't do me any favors."

I got out of the car and walked away. There was never a second date.

The moral of the story is this: If you are on a very bad date, end it. Don't torture yourself or the other person with thinking they have a chance. Be kind, but honest. Simply say, "I'm sorry, but I'm really not having a good time and I think I am going to go home now. Thank you for meeting me."

In the meantime, how about sharing some of your own bad dating experiences? It could be fun and helpful to others!

Modern Dating

It used to be that men went to places like laundry mats to pick up women. I mean, if they were doing laundry it meant they had a clean ethic, and her having qualities that his mother would like was very important. Of course that was only if he didn't meet his one true love in high school. If he did, they would fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Well, at least in movies. In real life - not so much, thus the divorce rate.

Let's look at some movie icons of romance. Elizabeth Taylor, who was a beautiful English actress and oozed romance was married eight times. Julia Roberts who wowed audiences with her large on screen presence and huge smile dated numerous high profile actors, was engaged a few times, and has been married twice. Sometimes you have to date some toads until you actually find a frog, I guess. And believe me, women can be toads too!

But it's not the manner in which you date that makes the difference. It's all a matter of the heart. It's also the manner in which society puts a lot of pressure on people to not be alone. Yet, in reality, sometimes being alone is what you actually need before settling down. Plus, people shouldn't be in such a rush to find the right person to spend their lives with. We rush everything. I mean, why do we need minute rice? It only takes 25 minutes to cook regular white rice, and believe me, there is a difference that is worth the wait.

It is true that we have busy lives. A lot of people don't like going to bars to try to pick up a potential date. What do all the television shows tell us that people that go to bars to pick up men or women? The women are all walking and breathing super models; except for the ones that might be interested in you. The men are all tall and muscular and heroic beings that just stepped off of the cover of a romance novel. Except, perhaps, the ones that would be interested in you. Most of us don't feel like super models or romantic heroes. And for those that do go into bars? Well, a stumbling drunk doesn't make for a very attractive prospect for long term dating.

That leaves us with online dating. Yes, the wonderful world of online dating. A plethera of singles just waiting for other singles to go online, see their picture, fall madly in love, and sweep them away. If only it were that simple.

In reality, you meet someone online after viewing their profile and picture. You strike up a great email conversation, move on to phone texting and phone calls. You believe that you discover great things about one another. Their online picture is in your head and you think how wonderful they sound over the phone. Then comes the face to face meeting. You find that they put up a picture that is either ten years old or must have been shot from an angle that you didn't know existed. You are so distracted by the difference in what you were mentally expecting that it becomes rather awkward. Or worse, you find out you like them, but they just aren't that into you. "This just isn't working for me," they say, "how about you? But we can still be friends." And that's the end. The weeks of expectation and hope have been dashed in less than five minutes flat.

So here is reality. You shouldn't settle. It's okay to be alone for a while. And sometimes you have to date a lot of toads before finding a frog. If you are dating, try dating a few people at one time - just not at the same time. Get to really know someone before taking the next step into that relationship roller coaster. And remember to meet face to face in a public location where you can take a little time to see how they really act and speak, and meet more than once if you find him or her interesting the first time.

After all, isn't the goal to reach that "Happily Ever After?"