Pick Up Lines Through the Ages

Times do change. Here are some pick-up lines from old movies and other sources. You might not want to use some, as they could possibly get you arrested, and no one looks that great in an orange jumpsuit.

1930's

"You aren't only cute, you're smart too." ("Marie Gallant" 1934)
"You want to save my life? Get me a drink." ("And So They Were Married" 1936)
"Hello, handsome. I'm a Grass Widow. You can go as far as you like." ("Behind Office Doors" 1931. Grass widow is: a discarded mistress; a woman who had a child out of wedlock; a divorced woman.)
"Speak to me or something, will you? Am I a leper?" ("Animal Kingdom" 1932)

1940's

"Was that cannon fire, or was that my heart pounding?" ("Casablanca" 1942)
"Give me a kiss or I'll sock you." ("The Postman Always Rings Twice" 1946. Highly not recommended you use this one. I'm sure it would be taken as a threat and not at all charming.)
"Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?" ("The Major and the Minor" 1942)
"You know, there are only two things more beautiful than a good gun: a Swiss watch or a woman from anywhere." (Red River 1948)

1950's

"That's, uh, quite some dress you almost have on. What holds it up?" ("An American In Paris" 1951)
"I was looking up. It was the nearest thing to heaven. You were there." ("An Affair to Remember 1957)
"Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers." ("A Streetcar Named Desire" 1951
"Don't you think it's better for a girl to be preoccupied with sex than occupied?" ("The Moon is Blue" 1953)

1960's

"The only question I ever ask any woman is, 'What time is your husband coming home?" ("Hud" 1963)
"Would you like me to seduce you? Is that what you're trying to tell me?" ("The Graduate" 1967)
"I don't bite, you know. Unless it's called for." ("Charade" 1963)
"Here you are baby. Take this; wipe the lipstick off; slide over here; and let's get started." ("The Nutty Professor 1963)

1970's

"I think your clothes are made of kryptonite. We need to get rid of those immediately." ("Superman" 1978)
"My lips are hot! Kiss my hot lips!" (M*A*S*H 1970)
"How do you like your hero? Over easy or sunny side up?" ("Last Tango In Paris" 1972)
"What is it about you that makes a man with a hundred and forty-seven I.Q. feel like a dribbling idiot?" ("The Goodbye Girl 1977)

1980's

"I find your lack of nudity disturbing." ("Star Wars: Return of the Jedi" 1983)
"Your mouth says, 'Shields Up!" but your eyes say that a hull breech is imminent." ("Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" 1982)
"How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense it could conceivably change your political views?" ("The Sure Thing" 1985)
"You wanna dance or would you rather just suck face?" ("On Golden Pond" 1981)

1990's

"Listen, I appreciate this whole seduction thing you have going, but let me give you a tip. I'm a sure thing. Okay?" ("Pretty Woman" 1990)
"Let me ask you a question, and be honest. Do I make you horny?" ("Austin Powers: Man of Mystery" 1997)
"I feel a great disturbance in my pants." (Star Wars: The Phantom Menace 1999)
"Well, aren't you the sweetest little thing?" ("Army of Darkness" 1992)

2000's

"I must be huntin' treasure, 'cause I'm diggin' your chest." ("Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest" 2006
"My sister can see the future. Let me give you a clue. It's ME + You." ("Twilight" 2008)
"I want to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets." ("Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" 2002)
"We ask ourselves, 'Is she Black? Is she White?' We don't care. She's exotic. I want to see more of her breasts." ("Glitter" 2001)

2010's

"In my experience the prettier the girl is, the more nuts she is, which makes you insane." ("Blue Valentine" 2010)
"You give me premature ventricular contractions." ("No Strings Attached" 2011)
"You look like a guy who is interested in a one-day rental, if you know what I mean." ("This Means War" 2012)
"You should be kissed every day, every hour, every minute." ("The Lucky One" 2012)

Worse Date Ever!

Everyone has been on bad dates. I mean, I have been on a date where the guy had zero money. He took me to the lake for a moonlight walk on the first date. I was okay with that. Dating isn't about how much money a guys spends. It's on the quality of what a good time you have. If a woman is going out with a guy just so he spends money on her - well, that's an entirely different topic.

The worse date I have ever experienced has to be where we went to see a scary movie. I didn't really want to go on this date in the first place, but the guy asked me and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. He was kind of an underdog. After this date, I think I figured out why.

We get into the movies and things are relatively normal. However, I was a bit thankful the movie was going to start soon. He constantly was talking about himself and all the wondrous glory that was him. How lucky I was that I accepted to be on a date with him. How intelligent he was. Everything that he thought I should know about him so that I didn't miss any detail. By this point, I wanted to miss all the details. I was polite, though. My mommy always said that I should smile and be polite even in the face of adversity. Believe me, I was feeling mighty adverse at this point.

I was thankful when the movie started. Although that was a short lived thankful moment. The guy was actually screeching in fear at the movie. Not the little "oh!" startled moment. Nope. He was actually competeing with the characters on the film who were on the verge of being maimed, murdered, and/or eaten alive.

I sunk a bit in my seat, hoping there was no one in the theater that would recognize me. I moved over in my seat about as far as the seat rails would allow. They don't make those seats nearly wide enough, by the way. My biggest fear at this time was that the guy would wind up in my lap.

Why take a girl to a spooky movie if you can't handle your scare? It's a question that may never be answered to my satisfaction.

You would think at this point that it would be the end of the worse night ever as he drove me home. One would hope, but one would be wrong.

As we pulled into the driveway of my house, after listening to his "Ode to Self" on the way home and how he completely puts himself into the movies he watches. (This I noticed. Unfortunately he was a survivor and not a victim, in this case.) I had reached my politeness breaking point.

He looks at me and tells me, "I'm going to let you kiss me now." I was astounded. Let me kiss him? He's lucky I didn't smack him upside the head and cause him more brain damage.

I simply replied with all the nice Southern Hospitality I could muster, "Don't do me any favors."

I got out of the car and walked away. There was never a second date.

The moral of the story is this: If you are on a very bad date, end it. Don't torture yourself or the other person with thinking they have a chance. Be kind, but honest. Simply say, "I'm sorry, but I'm really not having a good time and I think I am going to go home now. Thank you for meeting me."

In the meantime, how about sharing some of your own bad dating experiences? It could be fun and helpful to others!