It used to be that men went to places like laundry mats to pick up women. I mean, if they were doing laundry it meant they had a clean ethic, and her having qualities that his mother would like was very important. Of course that was only if he didn't meet his one true love in high school. If he did, they would fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Well, at least in movies. In real life - not so much, thus the divorce rate.
Let's look at some movie icons of romance. Elizabeth Taylor, who was a beautiful English actress and oozed romance was married eight times. Julia Roberts who wowed audiences with her large on screen presence and huge smile dated numerous high profile actors, was engaged a few times, and has been married twice. Sometimes you have to date some toads until you actually find a frog, I guess. And believe me, women can be toads too!
But it's not the manner in which you date that makes the difference. It's all a matter of the heart. It's also the manner in which society puts a lot of pressure on people to not be alone. Yet, in reality, sometimes being alone is what you actually need before settling down. Plus, people shouldn't be in such a rush to find the right person to spend their lives with. We rush everything. I mean, why do we need minute rice? It only takes 25 minutes to cook regular white rice, and believe me, there is a difference that is worth the wait.
It is true that we have busy lives. A lot of people don't like going to bars to try to pick up a potential date. What do all the television shows tell us that people that go to bars to pick up men or women? The women are all walking and breathing super models; except for the ones that might be interested in you. The men are all tall and muscular and heroic beings that just stepped off of the cover of a romance novel. Except, perhaps, the ones that would be interested in you. Most of us don't feel like super models or romantic heroes. And for those that do go into bars? Well, a stumbling drunk doesn't make for a very attractive prospect for long term dating.
That leaves us with online dating. Yes, the wonderful world of online dating. A plethera of singles just waiting for other singles to go online, see their picture, fall madly in love, and sweep them away. If only it were that simple.
In reality, you meet someone online after viewing their profile and picture. You strike up a great email conversation, move on to phone texting and phone calls. You believe that you discover great things about one another. Their online picture is in your head and you think how wonderful they sound over the phone. Then comes the face to face meeting. You find that they put up a picture that is either ten years old or must have been shot from an angle that you didn't know existed. You are so distracted by the difference in what you were mentally expecting that it becomes rather awkward. Or worse, you find out you like them, but they just aren't that into you. "This just isn't working for me," they say, "how about you? But we can still be friends." And that's the end. The weeks of expectation and hope have been dashed in less than five minutes flat.
So here is reality. You shouldn't settle. It's okay to be alone for a while. And sometimes you have to date a lot of toads before finding a frog. If you are dating, try dating a few people at one time - just not at the same time. Get to really know someone before taking the next step into that relationship roller coaster. And remember to meet face to face in a public location where you can take a little time to see how they really act and speak, and meet more than once if you find him or her interesting the first time.
After all, isn't the goal to reach that "Happily Ever After?"
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