Thursday, April 11, 2013

The Chilvary Test

They say chivalry is dead, but it may just be dormant. Take the chilvary test and see where you rank, or where your guy ranks. This test is easy enough that you can take it for him.  Is he a keeper or a loser? Let's find out.

So, since chivalry is obviously supposed to be dead everyone starts out with -5 points. Hopefully it goes up from there.

1. On a date do you or does he:
    a. Always pay or offer to pay? (+10)
    b. Always pays or offers to pay even on his birthday? (+15)
    c. Expects you to go dutch (-5)
    d. Never has  money to pay for anything (-20)

2. If he/you see someone being attacked you/he:
    a. Doesn't hestiate to step in. (+20)
    b. Ignores it and move on thinking it's not his/your problem. (-20)
    c. Stay out of it but call 911. (+5)
    d. Video tape it for youtube. (-5)

3. The phrase you/he correlates on how women should be treated is:
     a. "Get in the kitchen, woman, and bring me dinner and a beer." (-20)
     b. "Don't worry your pretty little head over it, honey. Let the men take care of it." (-10)
     c. "Behind every good man is an even better woman." (+10)
     d. "No woman will ever be as good as my mom." (+5)

4. If he/you had a theme song it would be most like:
    a. "The All American Hero." (+10)
    b. "She Was Asking For It." (-20)
    c. "She's a Lady." (+5)
    d. "Don't Take the Girl." (+20)

5. Sitting on a crowded subway car he/you would:
     a. Offer your/his seat to a pregnant woman or elderly woman (+20)
     b. Pretend you don't see anyone and mind your own business. (-5)
     c. Push/yell at people to give you some freaking room. (-20)
     d. Offer your/his seat to a hot chick to score. (-15)

6.  It's his/your birthday party and the girlfriend/wife is drunk, falls, and needs stitches in the ER. So,
     a. You/he asks someone to take her so you can keep partying. (-5)
     b. Stop everything to take care of her and ensure her that it's okay. She's more important than a party. (+20)
     c. Take her to the ER, but make sure she knows how pissed you are. (-10)
     d. Make her wait to go to the ER until after the party. Who cares if she scars? (-20)

7.  You are all out camping and a grizzly bear appears. He/you
      a. yell, "Every man for himself!" and run for cover never looking back. (-20)
      b. Make yourself/himself huge and tell everyone else to get in the car slowly. (+20)
      c. Lay down and play dead hoping the grizzly goes for someone else. (-10)
      d. Throw food in front of the grizzy to buy everyone time to get in the car. (+10)

8.  If you/he could have any one of these super powers, which would it be?
     a. X-ray vision to be able to see everyone naked. (-20)
     b. Powers of persuasion so everyone would do your/his bidding. (-10)
     c. Super strength to keep his family and loved ones safe. (+20)
     d. Mind reading so you/he can know what everyone is thinking. (+5)

9. You/he is out to dinner. His best friend mentions that your/his girlfriend really shouldn't have dessert, she's looks like she's had one too many already. You/he:
     a. Tell him to go to hell. Your/his girl is super fine and can have whatever she wants. (+10)
     b. Agree. You/he think(s) women should stay fit and trim to keep their man happy. (-20)
     c. Snicker, because it's funny wishing you/he had the guts to tell her that. (-10)
     d. Get up and walk out with the girl. Anyone that is that mean and disrespectful isn't anyone's friend. Let him know that if times were different you'd/he'd slug him for insulting your/his girl. (+20)

10.  The one old fashioned value that you/he most embraces is:
        a. Opening doors for women. (+15)
        b.  Expecting dinner to be ready when he comes home from work. (-10)
        c. A man rules the house - it's his kingdom. (-20)
        d. Honesty is next to Godliness. (+5)

Score:

Over 100: A keeper! You are right up there with Sir Lancelot and Casanova, baby. You have the moves and the chilvalry that others thought were dead. You are the guy that every woman wants and every man who isn't you hears about it from his wife. He secretly hates you and wants to find your flaws. We wouldn't be surprised if you own a white horse and shining armor.

 40 - 99 -  You have potential. Even though you aren't entirely chivalrous and you have faults, eh. On a scale from 1-10 you're a definite 5. Have you considered charm school? No? We aren't surprised. While you may not be Prince Charming, you certainly aren't quite the frog prince.

30 - 40 - How many relationships have you have that have failed? We think probably quite a few. Remember Stanley from "A Street Car Named Desire?" I'm sure the two of you are probably related. Thankfully you have probably dropped using the club and pulling your woman into the bedroom by her hair, but you aren't that far from your cave man ancestors. Your favorite word might be "ugh." Unfortunately you are probably still quite pleased with yourself.

Under 40. - There is no polite way to say this, so here goes, you are the reason that people think chilvary is dead. However, you put the ick in dick.



   

No comments:

Post a Comment